BIG TIME RUSH - Sorrow from San Fransisco, story 6
by treehatsrock
Summary: (btr threesome)the 6th story which takes us back to before it all began in my series. a time when BTR had just begun, and fun came before heartache. this is the diary of Kacey Delta, a former girlfriend of james. this is her story of the love and frolicks she endured from the man she fears she will never get over. will james forgive her so she can move on?extremely sexually explic
1. Chapter 1

**_hi everyone! this story is a prequel to what happened before sheriden and james got together in my other stories. it stars kacey delta who we all know got her self in a bit of trouble somehwere along the line, you dont have to read the others to get the best out of this but feel free, its dirty so i would suggest over 16's only please! even though all this took place before sheriden and james im still calling it story 6 to my series... enjoy! xoxoxo treehatsrock. follow me on twitter under SheridenLloyd_**

**_CHAPTER ONE_**

Have you ever done anything so stupid that you spend most of your days regretting it?

Like yelling at a friend, or getting too drunk to know what you have done.

Let me guess! I bet it was over a boy right?

Mine was. I was once so in love with a boy that it made me do crazy things just to try and keep him even though it was obvious that he was no longer in love with me.

I'm engaged now, I love my fiancé very much, don't think that I don't or that I'm ungrateful but he just will never compare to the first boy that I fell in love with.

I've always found it hard to get past my first love, when I'm drunk I threaten to phone him, my friends usually take my phone away from me so I can't.

Its not like I can just forget him, unlucky for me he is one half of Americas hottest couple and I see him with his wife and children on a daily basis in the news papers or on TV.

My friend said I should try and write my feelings down, I tried that but I found it easier to write the entire story down... So here it is.

My name is Kacey Delta, and this is how I met and fell in love with James maslow.

I was 19 at the time, and was starring in a show called Annabellas wish which was shown on the Disney channel, I was also trying to land a recording contract too. My voice was good.

I had crossed paths with James and his Co stars for his show that was just starting out a few times but I had never really spoken to him.

He was incredibly good looking with the most gorgeous smile I had ever seen.

The time that I did get to talk to him we were all filming the video to a Christmas charity song we all appeared on with a load of other celebrities. It was about 4 years ago.

We were to be filmed frolicking about in the snow wearing silly jumpers and just generally messing around.

I must of looked awful as my hair did not fair well in these snowy conditions that we had been flown out to, I was originally from San Francisco, but now lived in Los Angeles with my friend while my career took off.

once the video was filmed and completed we had one day left to have fun before we flew home. I was having a snow ball fight with Logan, James and Carlos.

Logan was on my team, we had built a snow turret to hide behind from the snow balls that James and Carlos were sending our way.

"oh my God... That one almost had you kace'" Carlos shouted as a snow ball whizzed past my ear.

"Kacey... Kace" I heard from Logan behind me, I turned around and received a snow ball square in the face from my own team mate.

I yelled out in pain as unfortunately the snow ball was more made from ice than fluffy white snow.

I held my nose as it threatened to make my eyes water.

"what did you do that for Henderson!" James said walking over to me and pulling my hands away from my face to reveal blood pouring from my nose.

"oh God" I said as I saw it flow out on to the snow.

"shit Kacey... I'm so sorry, I was only messing about" Logan said.

"its fine honestly... I'm going to go inside and sort this out guys. I will see you later?!" I said then made my way up the stairs to my hotel room, I let some of the tears escape that I tried so hard to hold in from the pain. Then looked at my reflection on the mirror.

I looked a state, I smiled at my now dark frizzy hair that looked wild. And my usually pretty face was now smeared in blood. I went to the bathroom and washed the blood off, it was still bleeding slightly but I walked out of the bathroom dabbing my nose gently with a fluffy towel.

The door knocked just as I sat on my hotel bed. I got up to open it and find handsome James on the other side.

His own hair was now soaking wet and his cheeks bright red from the cold.

"hey... You look cold" I greeted him with.

"yeah Los and Logan attacked me" he chuckled.

I shook my head with a smile at their silliness.

"did you want to come in you must be freezing" I asked

"no I was just checking that that you were okay, Logan can be a bit of a Dick sometimes" he said

"I'm fine... It hurt, but no harm done... Are you going to the club that everyone is going on about tonight?" I asked knowing full well that he was going because I heard him talking about it earlier to someone.

"yeah I am... Are you?" He replied running a hand through his dripping wet hair so it showed off even more of his handsome face.

"I'm not sure... You guys are lucky, you all have each other to hang around with, I don't really know anyone here" I said looking down to my feet briefly.

"yeah we are lucky, its a good laugh, but you know me so if you want to tag along with me that's fine. Carlos is going with his girlfriend Tammi... You know her right?" He said.

"is that the blonde haired girl...she seems... Offish" I laughed.

"yeah she is an odd one but she is nice enough, Logan has a date tonite, so me and kendall can keep you company" he chirped.

"okay then, sounds great, I will grab a shower and get ready" I smiled

"brilliant, I hope you don't bruise up too bad, I will knock for you about... 7?" He suggested.

"7 is great... Thanks James... For asking if I'm okay I mean... Its nice" I said feeling my cheeks go red.

"no problem. See you at 7" he smiled then went down the hall to his room.

I shut the door and sighed. He was ridiculously good looking.

I glanced at my watch which read 5.30pm, so I jumped in the shower. Hopefully tonight is the night I will bag me a maslow!.

I wasn't sure if it was the heat from my shower or the fact Logan had planted that snow ball in my face but my head pounded.

Instead of getting glammed up I sat on the bed for a bit, there was no way I would be able to go out feeling like this. My head was truly pounding away. I just put my night shirt on and tucked myself in my dressing gown.

Soon enough James tapped on my door. I opened it up.

"hey... Oh hey, you okay" he said noticing I looked so rough.

"no I feel awful James, I'm really sorry, gonna have to bail on you and kendall tonight" I said softly so as not to hurt my head any more.

"oh that's a Shame... You do look ill though kace'" he said looking me over.

Logan walked passed the corridor and winked at me, he looked dressed up.

"getting stood up again maslow!" he chirped in delight as he walked by.

James just rolled his eyes and smiled.

"he has a big date planned then if he is in a suit" I smiled

"Hmmm" was all James replied.

"well I'm gonna try and sleep this headache off James, you have a good night though, have a drink for me" I smiled.

"I will... Take care kace'" he smiled his beautiful smile at me then walked away with a wave of his hand.

I went to bed and fell straight to sleep, the door knocking woke me up. I looked at my watch, it said half eleven. My head was mostly better now too.

I pulled my dressing gown back on and got up to answer the door.

It was Logan this time

"hellooooooo" he greeted me with

"hi!? Logan why are you here at this time of night? I thought you had a date!" I said to him.

"turns out my date was a little young and I ended up getting a slap! so I wondered if you would like a night cap with me?" He replied waving a bottle of vodka at me.

Judging by the looks of things Logan had more vodka in his system than was left in the bottle.

I smiled at him. I did like a drink! "sure come on in, I think there are some glasses in that cupboard" I said pointing.

Logan came in and poured me out a drink, he handed it to me as he sat on the bed.

"so why did you ditch James?" He asked

"I didn't ditch him, I had a headache because someone through a snow ball at me at point blank range" I smirked as I downed my drink

"I am sorry about that" he said smiling then filled my glass up again.

"its fine honestly... But watch your back!" I threatened sarcastically.

Logan grinned at me. "your cute!" He said out of the blue.

I laughed and drank my next vodka down, to which Logan filled my glass up again "Thankyou" I replied to him.

"Kacey I have an important question for you" Logan then said with a grin on his face.

I raised my eyebrow "go on then, what is it?" I said laughing

"are you a girl that slaps boys? Because I would really like to kiss you but two slaps in one night is too much for one logie bear!" He smiled

I giggled at him. "your very forward aren't you... But no I don't slap, I'm more the knee you in the balls type"

"I'm not forward kace, this is me being shy" he laughed. "so am I in danger of getting my balls bashed in if I try to kiss you?"

I looked at Logan, he wasn't the kind of guy I usually went for, I definitely liked the pretty boys, Logan dressed more like a ghetto wannabe from what I had seen so far but he looked cute at the moment dressed in his suit, his face was adorable too, full of mischief and the most gorgeous dimples.

"I would think your balls are safe" I replied as I drank down my drink

Logan went in for the kiss, it felt nice, his tongue swept in my mouth slowly, he teased me with it.

Logan pulled at my dressing gown and slipped it off my shoulders.

He then moved his hand down my body and touched my thighs. The vodka that now lay in my system just let all this happen, it was fun. Logan was fun.

Logan got bored of just feeling the outside of my privates so he cautiously moved my underwear to one side and placed a finger inside me.

I made a little noise of pleasure to show I didn't really mind and Logan playfully bit my lip before kissing me again.

He made sure that I was very wet before he pulled his finger out and played with my clit.

I pulled out of the kiss gently and giggled. "you being shy didn't last very long"

Logan smiled at me, "on the contrary I am still being very shy... Would you like to see me being forward?" He said looking at me with his big brown eyes.

"I think I would!" I smiled and stole one more kiss off of him before he moved, he pulled his shirt off and next his pants came down.

What now presented itself in front of me looked very nice. No wonder he was so full of himself.

Logan then pulled me up off the bed and pulled my night shirt up over my head, he kissed me as it came off.

I took my own underwear off, this gave Logan the go ahead to be very forward and it also gave him a very big smile as he looked at my body.

"fuck! Your sexy Kacey" he whispered then lay me down on the bed.

Logan first of all pleased me with his tongue, caressing my clit but he then had a better idea then moved himself on top of my body, he placed himself in my mouth as he pleasured me orally in a 69 position.

The feel of Logans hardness in my mouth and the touch of his tongue on my privates sent me to my orgasm far too quickly.

He stayed gently sucking on my clit as he then climaxed in my mouth, I swallowed, he tasted good.

After our random sexual liaison we both got dressed.

"that was good" he said laughing as he flopped back down on my bed.

I poured myself another drink and looked at Logan, his hair was wild looking now, he was dead cute.

"did you wanna meet up when we are back in Cali?" I asked not really knowing what he wanted.

He looked at me "I would like that a lot, we could go out... Have some fun" he said with a wink.

The following day we all flew back home to California,

So there it was the first time I spoke to James and I ended up sucking off his friend and exchanging phone numbers to meet up when home.

Little did I know at this point just how much my life would change...


	2. Chapter 2

_**chapter two**_

I shared a house with my friend biscuit, her real name was Marissa but everyone called her biscuit because of an unfortunate choking incident at school when we were little.

My Dad had bought the house for us to live in, he was a rich lawyer. I was very much a daddys girl back then.

I told biscuit all about my sexual encounter with Logan Henderson,

"he is vile, why would you do that with him" she argued

"He isn't vile, he is so funny, but he is a bit of a slut, I think he just came looking for it and didn't care where it came from" I added.

"so are you actually going to meet up with him again?" She asked.

"yeah why not? Its fun maybe we could be one of those cute little famous couples" I mused.

I did arrange to meet up with Logan the following Friday, him and his friends were going to a club so I arranged to meet him with my friends.

I went with biscuit and my friends Natalie and Andy, Logan had brought the entire population of his contacts list on his phone by the looks of things.

"kace glad you could make it" James said to me first wrapping an arm over my shoulder.

Logan was hot on his heels "Kacey... Hello!" He said with a smirk.

"hello yourself" I said with a wink, I think James saw the wink and summed up that something had happened between us. He soon left us and started talking to kendall Schmidt and a dark haired girl.

"you want a drink... Or three?" Logan joked.

"I would like that" I replied over the beat of the music.

"Cmon then, and I will introduce you to everyone" Logan said steering me away from my friends but I grabbed biscuits hand and dragged her with me.

"okay so you know James and Carlos, this is Tammi, kendall I think you've is Sheriden, Dustin, Shawn and this is Danny" he concluded pointing to everyone in turn as they all smiled sweetly back at me.

"nice to meet you all" I said with girly wave.

"everyone this is Kacey Delta, and this is..." He stopped, looking at my blonde haired friend that he didn't know the name of.

"oh this is biscuit" I declared to lot of giggles that then erupted

"her real name is Marissa but everyone calls her biscuit" I explained.

"why?" Tammi asked her.

"I choked on a biscuit once at school then was sick everywhere and the entire biscuit came out" she laughed

"whole?" At least three people asked her.

She nodded.

I don't think I had been in biscuits company and not witnessed her having to explain why she was called biscuit... She enjoyed the attention it gave her. This was meant to be my night out meeting these people, now biscuit had gone and stolen the lime light again with her stupid name.

She had even batted her eyelashes at James and was now talking to him looking rather smug with her catch.

I danced with Logan, he was very hands on, he liked to grab my ass, I wondered if we would end up having sex tonight. He really did turn me on.

We ended up kissing on the dance floor, I noticed the dark haired girl eyeing me up like I was taking her property.

"Logan are you having a thing with that girl over there, she is looking at me funny" I finally said to him as we danced away.

Logan looked over to where my eyes had been looking and laughed "no, that's Sheriden, I'm definitely not doing anything with her... Although I probably would" he laughed, "I think kendall has his eye on that one" he added.

"why is she looking at us like that then?" I asked.

"she just looks after us all, she is related to Carlos kind of... Don't worry about her" he said kissing me again, he placed his tongue in my mouth and gently rubbed my privates through my trousers that I wore.

Once again I had drunk too much, I had a bottle of wine before I left and had a cheeky bottle of vodka that was in my bag, plus all the drinks that Logan was supplying me.

after an hour or so I think it had become very obvious that I was drunk. Plus tripping down the stairs and falling over may of given it away.

"time for bed then Kacey" Logan smiled.

"yeah okay" I slurred out, my voice sounded so odd.

I made a point of trying to find biscuit but she was no where to be found so Logan got a cab for us and we made our way back to my house.

Logan seemed pretty impressed with my home.  
"how the fuck do you live here?" He asked looking at the amazing house that looked out on to the beach.

I slouched in to the sofa "my Daddy pays for everything... Go ahead and judge me..." I replied In my drunken state wiggling my hand at him.

"i'm not going to judge you Kacey, I thought for a second then that the Disney channel paid a lot more than nickelodeon" he laughed.

"come and kiss me" I slurred

Logan sat on the sofa and kissed me, he travelled down my neck, sending shivers up my spine.

"your so sexy" I whispered to him.

I heard a chuckle from behind me that made me jump.

Both Logan and I turned around to see James stood in the door way.

"what the fuck are to doing here?" Logan asked him,

James smiled, his smile was amazing  
"I was trying to put my hand in the biscuit tin" he winked, I rolled my eyes at his awful attempt at a joke "but she passed out directly her head hit the pillow... You rich girls can't handle your drink at all" he explained then came and Sat the other side of me on the sofa.

"erm James we are kind of getting it on, phone a cab!" I said turning back to Logan and giving him a kiss.

"I don't have any cash on me" James replied running a finger down my leg.

I pulled away from Logan

"what the fuck was that?" I said shocked that he had made a move on me very much in front of his friend who was attached to my lips.

"what?... Logan doesn't mind. Do you Logan?" James said now placing some of my hair slowly behind my ear then going in for a kiss.

This was so fucked up but I let James kiss me, I was so drunk I didn't really care. He was right though, Logan didn't seem to mind, he just sat there rubbing my leg waiting for James to finish with me.

"did you like that?" James asked as he parted his soft lips from mine.

"I nodded then kissed him again, this time he let his tongue sweep in my mouth, he was an amazing kisser.

While James had me distracted with his kisses, Logan had worked his way in to my shirt, he was currently kissing his way up my stomach and making his way to my breasts.

I had never done anything like this before, I got the feeling these two had though.

I pulled away from James "you two aren't gay are you, Coz I'm not in to watching you ass fuck each other" I said, both the guys laughed, Logan popped his head out from my blouse as he sucked on my nipple

"no way! This is all about you Kacey... Your so fucking sexy" Logan said then began sucking on my breasts again.

James then began tugging at my blouse, he helped me slip out of it and undid my bra strap as he too kissed and caressed one of my breasts.

I was so turned on it was unreal.

Logan left my boobs alone and undid his trousers and guided my hand in his pants to feel his stiffness, he felt so good, he just sat next to me as I tugged on him and James was allowed to have both of my breasts to himself.

"can I take these off?" James whispered as he looked up at me.

I nodded, the next thing I knew James had unbuttoned my trousers and I was Sat naked on my sofa giving Logan Henderson a hand job while James maslow gave me oral pleasure,

The whole situation sounded dirty enough in my head to turn me on but actually feeling it and seeing it sent me to my climax.

James sat up inbetween my legs where he was positioned on the floor after I came and just rubbed his finger gently on my clitoris sending little pulses of pleasure in to my body that it couldn't quite handle,

Logan then announced that he had spunked in his pants as a result of me tugging on him still.

"what about you?" I said looking at James.

"I was hoping to do a little something special with you" James said

"I'm going to the toilet, I'm staying away from the splash zone" Logan laughed them stumbled off to clean himself up.

James then took his manhood out that was big and hard looking, he then jacked himself off all over me,

It felt so dirty, but I loved it, I kind of wish Logan had of stayed to play with me somehow.

"do you two team up a lot?" I asked as James tucked himself back in his pants.

James shook his head. "no but we both like you and talked about what this might be like" he replied.

"did it live up to your expectations?" I said now feeling the making of tomorrows hang over.

"it was pretty good I thought... Maybe more drinks next time" Logan said as he joined us back in the room, he handed me a towel to cover myself up with

"thanks" I said as I stood up and wrapped myself up.

Logan then kissed me "your beautiful kace" he said.

I noticed James on his phone.

"so what happens now?" I said to Logan feeling a bit used.

"you have a shower and I spend the night ravishing you, James is going home" he replied

"oh okay, I'm glad your staying, that would of felt a bit fucked up" I admitted.

James got off of his phone then walked over to me. "your a lot of fun Kacey." He said then kissed me on the cheek. "call me" he then said and left me with his cell number as he went outside to wait for his cab that Logan had given him the money for.

"you wanna hit that shower? Maslow juice is a turn off " he said eyeing up my collar bone, I looked down to where he was looking and noticed that James obviously had a long range.

"come on then Henderson" I said dragging Logan off to my bedroom.

That night I spent with Logan was some of the best sex I had ever had in my life, we were so alike me and him with our characters,but it was James that I definitely found most attractive, he did scare me a little bit, I couldn't quite work out his personality at this point so sticking with Logan was the easier option. I just wish it had of stayed that way...

* * *

**_will post more on soon once its been written out, its become a bit of a thing that people ask me to write them in to my storys now so if you want your name in this let me know and i will see what i can come up with. follow me on twitter SheridenLloyd for updates or to chat about our 4 dorks_**


	3. Chapter 3

A few days had passed since that night James and Logan double teamed me, I didn't tell biscuit about it as James was meant to be her date, all she knew is that Logan had stayed over.

I decided to keep my distance from the boys, if Logan wanted a relationship then he could do the begging, and James hadn't spoken to me since he gave me his number. I did send him a text the morning after just letting him know it was me and so he had my number but he didn't reply back.

Logan finally did call me that evening, he sounded drunk, I wondered if he had a bit of a problem but I guess he was just enjoying the fame.

"do you want to come to a party on Saturday kace" he slurred down the phone.

I honestly had no other plans "yeah okay! Where is it" I replied.

"it is in my bed" he giggled back at me.

"what? Logan how much have you had to drink?" I asked a bit annoyed.

"I'm joking, its at a friends house by the beach, do you wanna come?" He replied in a more serious tone, I think he had realised he had annoyed me.

"yeah okay that sounds nice... Thankyou" I replied.

I chatted with Logan, for a while on the phone, he didn't mention that I had given him a hand job while James was going down on me, so nor did I, maybe he was embarrassed?

So Saturday soon arrived, I dressed myself in a floral black summer dress, my brown hair I wore down, I looked very casual but hot all at the same time, so I was pleased with my efforts.

I let Logan in while I just put my shoes on, I could feel him staring at my ass ass I bent down to buckle my heels that I had chosen to wear.

As I stood up Logan grabbed me around the waist.

"you look hot Kacey!" Logan whispered and he planted a kiss on my lips. I welcomed it and slipped my tongue in his mouth, he tasted nice for a change, not tanked up on booze.

I smiled at him "thanks you look pretty nice yourself" I said as I looked at Logan who was once again dressed in his ghetto wannabe clothes, a cap on his head, he oozed out style, I could appreciate it more now I had got to know him a bit better.

"shall we get going then?" I asked as he pulled out from a seductive kiss.

"if we have to" he winked. I laughed at him, he was really cute.

Logan wasn't drinking that night, he had his car, a beautiful Mercedes, I bet it had cost him a fortune! He drove to the house, I thought to my self that I much preferred sober Logan.

Once we had arrived Logan took a firm grip of my hand as he helped me out of the car, I thought it was romantic.

"I never had you pegged for a gent" I mocked him.

"only for the pretty girls" he replied.

I smiled at him.

I saw a few familiar faces from the fame game Logan and I were in. I saw James more or less instantly because of his height. Logan led me towards him, my heart sank slightly as I realised he was joined hands with Sheriden that I had met at the club the other night.

"hey princess you not got James drunk yet?" Logan said to Sheriden as he gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"no not yet, I'm just making sure Los doesn't show up... "she smiled. "Who is this you have with you tonight?" Sheriden said looking at me.

"this is Kacey, she was at the club with me... I'm sure I introduced you both. Kacey this is Sheriden Lloyd... And I think you know James" Logan said with a giggle. I saw a smirk on james' face too.

I chose to ignore both of them in fear of laughing in sheridens face.  
I looked at Sheriden closely, I didn't realise in the dimly lit club the other night, but she was a model, I wondered why these guys were hanging around her all the time, as far as I knew she was a lot older than them.

"nice to meet you...again" I said to her now feeling extremely unattractive up against the model, the more I looked at her the more I could see expensive clothes and jewellery. I bet she was minted.

"like wise" she replied doing exactly the same to me.

"kace cmon let's get a drink" Logan said and dragged me away to the kitchen.

I wondered if James was embarrassed about this whole thing that happened the other night and that's why he wasn't really talking to me anymore, he seemed a lot different to the James that had checked I was okay from being hit in the face with a snow ball.

"here you go, get that down you," Logan said handing me a drink.

"what about your car?" I asked him as I watched him down some shots.

"the Mercedes? That's not mine, that's sheridens" he laughed. "I dropped them off then got you, so we are getting a taxi home I'm afraid." He explained as he drank down some concoction he had just poured himself.

"oh okay, how come you know her?" I asked as I too downed my drink.

"she is a part of Carlos' family, he lives with her at the moment, so sheridens house is like the hang out for us, its fucking huge" Logan said smiling.

"sounds good" I said nudging him for another drink.

"so what's the deal with you Kacey, how are you so hot but not got a guy on the go" Logan asked as he dragged me over to a more private corner of the kitchen.

I raised my eyebrow. "I thought I kind of did have a guy on the go" I smirked looking at him.

"oh I see... You like me a bit too much" he laughed.

"I think your cute yeah" I replied.

"I find it difficult to stay in relationships" he said.

"because your a slut?" I joked.

"you noticed then?" He laughed "no seriously its too much like hard work, we are hardly in the same place for very long. I doubt anything would last past a couple of weeks" he replied.

"so what we are doing is not really heading anywhere then?" I asked.

"we are having fun aren't we." He said then kissed me.

I put my hands in his as he leaned against me "we are" I replied with a smile.

Carlos then came in and said hi to both Logan and I, he didn't stay long though Tammi dragged him off somewhere directly James walked in the kitchen with Sheriden, I got the feeling the two girls didn't get along that great.

Logan buried his head in my neck and kissed me, he definitely came up trumps for a good date, he saw to my every need,

"how about we escape somewhere?" He whispered to me in my ear.

"we have only just arrived" I laughed as I felt his erection dig in to my leg.

"spoil sport" he said as he kissed me on my lips "only trouble with drinking id you need to piss every two minutes, did you want to come hold it for me or wait here" Logan said with a beautiful smile.

"please tell me that was a joke" I laughed at him.

"maybe" he said with a wink then walked of to the toilet.

I had a little laugh to myself at how silly Logan actually was. I wonder if I could tame him.

As I stood there nursing my drink I listened in to James and Sheriden, they looked very in to each other. But Sheriden looked nervous.

"James I'm just going to go, its not worth having him moan again" Sheriden said as she rested her head on James' chest"

"but I like these little kisses Sheri" he said smiling and lifting her chin up and giving her a soft kiss on the lips.

"James! Stop it" she said as she pulled her self away.

"he isn't even in the room, I think Tammi likes to keep her distance from you" he said giving her another little kiss.

Sheriden smiled at this kiss "its not worth him getting in a mood again like in Florida is it... You promised him James" she said to him.

James sighed "yeah you're right... Go on then... Run off in to the night and leave me before I do something Carlos won't approve of" he said sarcastically to her.

She smiled at him "night James... Have fun!" She said then kissed him on the cheek and left.

He stood there silent for a while just staring at the space that he had last seen Sheriden in, downing his drink.

"penny for them?" I asked.

James snapped out of his daydream "sorry kace I was miles away" he chuckled.

"that's okay... Is she your girlfriend?" I said also looking at the place Sheriden was just in before she left.

"no... No she is just a friend, that's all. Carlos doesn't approve of me so I'm banned from dating her" he laughed.

"oh I see... Did you want another drink?" I asked grabbing a bottle of wine.

James looked at me, "yeah okay" he replied as he lifted himself up on the counter and sat on it.

"so are you and Logan a thing now?" He asked,

"erm... No I don't think he wants anything serious" I replied now looking for Logan, he has been gone ages.

"that's cool ya know... Least its saving some of the nice girls for the rest of us" he said with a smile.

I smiled "I would happily save myself for you... I wouldn't care what Carlos thought either" I laughed.

James chuckled too.

"kace about the other night... How did you feel about that?" He asked.

I felt my cheeks redden "honestly I enjoyed it... Logan hasn't said anything about it though." I said.

James nodded "no I've not said anything to him about out since either... I liked it though. It was dirty... I'm in to all that" he confessed

I looked at James, he looked like butter wouldn't melt. I laughed "sorry you just don't look the type" I giggled.

"me?... Try looking in the mirror" he joked.

I looked at my watch, Logan must off fallen down the toilet.

"I think your date had gone awol" James said looking at me with a smile.

"you want to grab that bottle and we can go sit on the beach if you like. I'm not one to leave such a pretty girl alone at a party" he said holding his hand out.

"sure okay" I replied grabbing the bottle with one hand then taking his hand with the other.

James found a nice little spot for us on the sand.

"here you go" he said handing me his jacket that he was wearing "its cold out here, especially in a tiny dress like that" he smiled.

I took the jacket and slipped it over my shoulders. "thanks" I replied.

"so how is your show doing?" He asked me as handed me a glass of wine.

"its going really well, but this year is the last season. Its so sad, I would give anything to do it all over again" I replied.

"that's a shame, me and the boys just signed for a second season of our show. Its a lot of fun" he said smiling.

"your so lucky that you got your music break at the same time as your acting one James. that's my dream to be a singer" I said staring out at the ocean from where we sat on the sand.

"your voice is great... Like amazing Kacey. I first heard you sing on your show, but when we did that charity single you blew me away with your voice. Don't give up on that dream" he said taking my hand.

"shall we get this wine finished then see of we can be alone somewhere warmer?" James asked with a grin.

"sounds like a good plan" I said running my hand over his arm that was covered in goose bumps.

By the time the wine was gone, it was more a case of stumble around and find somewhere warm to be alone.

As we made it indoors and I was just about to follow James up the stairs of the house the party was being held in, a hand grabbed my wrist. I turned around to see a very drunk Logan, his hair was a state. It looked like he had been dragged through a bush.

"Logan!? Where did you disappear to?" I asked.

"I'm sorry I got lost" he said smiling "are you two hooking up?" He then slurred out.

"kind of" James then said.

"oh I just turned downed this really hot blond girl with massive tits to find you again kace" Logan said as he swayed on the bottom step of the Stairs.

"Logan!" I moaned.

"Na Kacey its fine, we can do the same as the other night if you want, it turns me on that someone is watching me" James said.

I wasn't really happy about this. I was just about to finally get what I wanted then Logans gone and messed it up.

"I need more drink if we doing this again" was all I replied.

James found a room and Logan found gin, it was disgusting but I drank it, I was soon so drunk I was up for anything,

"ago who wants to undress me?"I slushed out.

"I think you should un dress yourself" James replied.

"I think you should suck my cock Kacey" Logan said as he flopped on the bed and got his hardness out.

"fucksake Logan! I don't wanna see that" James said laughing.

"well you won't see it if its in her mouth will you" he slurred.

"I'm surprised you can still get it up the amount of drink you have had Logan" I said as I crawled on to him on the bed and kissed him still fully clothed.

"see that's my girl" Logan said in between kisses from me I then worked my way down lower and gave his length a lick before putting it in my mouth

"okay fuck it" I heard James say, as he then gently took my underwear down from where I crouched on Logan. The next thing I knew I heard the wrapper of a condom open and James was inside me from behind. I have to say that right there was probably the best experience I have ever had.

James felt incredible inside me, he touched me as well. Once again he sent me to heaven far too quickly, he however was not done, and kept going for some time longer.

I'm not sure who was trying to hold out longer, Logan or James, but James made me cum a second time the same time he did.

I heard his zipper go up, and he said he would be back in a second.

I looked up at Logan as I sucked on him.

"you got jaw ache yet?" He laughed

"its killing" I said with a smile as I took him out of my mouth.

"let logie bear do some of the work then" he winked, and turned me over on to my back. Logan fucked my brains out, I think it was more the fact he needed it fast ago he could cum because of the admit he had drunk, or he just fancied it a bit rough.

But after a few minutes he was done. I went to the loo, leaving him momentarily on his own.

When I walked back in to the room James was back and Logan was asleep on the bed.

"I think you killed him" James mocked.

"his liver must be in such a bad way I smiled... That was a bit fucked up... But I liked it" I admitted with a drunken giggle.

"it sounded like you liked it too" James said taking my hand. "so I get to steal you away for the night this time?" He then asked in all seriousness.

I looked at Logan as he slept in his drink induced coma. "its not much of a choice today is it" I laughed.

"come on then let's go back to mine" James said. "Maybe we can buy you a tooth brush on the way back" he chuckled.

So that was the first time I made live with James, looking back now out was totally fucked up and I would never think of doing anything like this now.

The night I spent at his was amazing, he was a beautiful person, he made me laugh all the time, I finally thought I had landed on my feet. He wouldn't let me go home the next day, instead he insisted I stay at his and have fun, we did have fun, not just sex but messing around, hanging out. I could feel myself falling for him, as night fall cammed on our second night he begged me to stay again.  
This time I didn't need much persuasion. He promised to take me out some where fun the next day. I was so excited.

If I knew then what I knew now I would of run screaming from that house if it would saved me from the heart ache that was about to take over me.

Sent from Samsung Galaxy Note


	4. Chapter 4

The morning sun shone through the blinds in James' bungalow. I opened my eyes to see him looking at me.

"good morning" he whispered to me with his beautiful smile, he brushed his fairly long hair away from his face.

"hey!" I replied in my sleepy state.

James leaned in to kiss me "you're beautiful kace" he said after.

I felt my heart swell.

"what are we doing today?" I said rubbing my hand along his jaw line.

"not having sex that's for sure" he laughed as he rubbed his shoulder. I could see a bruise already there from where he slipped off the bed last night during a rather energetic love making session.

I laughed at him then kissed the bruise.  
"did you want me to go home?" I asked, I expect biscuit would be wondering where I was.

"no I don't want you to ever leave" he said then rolled on top of me.

His weight on me felt nice, he was so strong feeling, so safe, I loved every inch of him.

"your sweet James" I said as I slipped my tongue in his mouth.

Before we could get going on our kiss James pulled away, he rolled back off my body then gave my leg a playful slap.  
"cmon get your lazy sexy ass out of bed and we will do something fun" he said.

"like what?" I questioned with a grin not moving an inch out of bed.

"its a surprise" he said with the raise of one of his insanely amazing eyebrows.

"your going to have to do better than that James, its warm in here!" I said pulling the covers around me

"oh is it really?" He said sarcastically then pulled the covers away.

I screamed and laughed at the same time as he threw the sheets on the floor.

"meany" I declared.

"oh I'm not a meany" he chuckled as he crawled back on top of me "I'm lovely" he whispered as he grabbed a condom from his bedside drawer.

I had a shower after we had yet another amazing sex session. I did wonder where James got his moves from at such a young age, he definitely knew what he liked in the bedroom department, but it was much more advanced than anything I had experienced before.

James ended up taking me paint balling. It was hilarious, I came back all the colours of the rainbow while James just finished with one green Splodge on him which wasn't even from me.

"that was fun!" I said as we walked back to his car hand in hand.

"you are a terrible shot... Can you actually see Kacey?" He laughed

I gave him a gentle slap "I'm a girl, I'm not good at stuff like that" I replied.

"I think you are good at lots of things" he said giving my bum a squeeze.

As we sat in the car he looked at me "look at the state of you Miss Delta... I guess I best take you home now huh?" he said as he twirled some of my hair that had blue paint dried in to it.

"I guess so, today was good though... Even though I am a terrible shot" I laughed.

James smiled and started his engine, the journey home was way too short for my liking, I felt my heart fall to my stomach when James pulled up outside my house.

"so I guess I'm not your captive any more?" I said as I gave him a kiss.

"no it seems I'm letting you go" he said with a wink.

"well thanks again for a brilliant few days James, it really was amazing" I said as I took his hand.

"its all my pleasure Kacey" he said as he gave me a soft kiss " I will call you okay, we can do this again sometime?" He said in almost a whisper, he must of been able to hear my heart thudding.

"I would like that" I replied then gave him one last kiss before I got out of the car and gave him a little wave as I walked in to my house.

I had to tell biscuit in the end about James, she had seen me kiss him in his car, and the fact I hadn't been home for days gave it away. She didn't seem too upset,

I looked forward to James calling me, he was everything I wanted in a man, absolutely everything, I was falling for him so hard.  
The evening sped past with no calls though.

By eleven I was spinning my phone in my hand wondering to send him a text or not, I even called my phone from biscuits mobile to check it was working, it was but nothing came from James, I went to sleep feeling a bit deflated.

by lunch time the following day I still hadn't heard anything so I decided to turn on my message sent alerts, so I knew he had received it and sent him a text.

It was a simple text, but I worded it so it should warrant a reply.  
'hey James! How's the shoulder? Thanks again for a great day out x ' it said.

I hoped for an immediate reply but no such luck, an hour ticked by and my phone eventually sounded its message tone.

My heart sank when I read it.  
'hey love, are you coming to dinner on Thursday? X x x ' it said. It was from my mom.

I heard nothing from James at all that day. The following day biscuit and I had a girly night in, I got drunk and decided to phone James .  
It rang and rang, it wouldn't go through to any kind of voice mail, it just kept on ringing.

I tried that three times, biscuit egged me on, I had told her of my worry that he hadn't called.

On the 4th consecutive go of trying to get hold of him I was informed by the robotic phone operator that the phone was switched off.

I actually cried. It was more the drink causing it but I really did like James, I was gutted that he seemed to have used me. the fact we had spent so long together at his house and he didn't feel bad that he was ignoring me now I think hurt the most.

I didn't try to contact him again, and I heard absolutely nothing.

Three weeks passed and the only contact I had had was from Logan. He couldn't even remember the night at the party. I didn't ask about James, I didn't want him to report back to him like I actually cared, but the truth was I did care, I really felt something for him.

I was attending an awards ceremony that evening, I actually won two, which to this day are my only great achievements from my time in the public eye.

It was the after party that was awkward, it was held at some swanky hotel, straight away I noticed Sheriden, she created a media stir. she wasn't holding hands with James this time though, it was kendall who she had as an accessory.

I hadn't brought a date, I just went with the Co stars of my show, I tried to enjoy it but I soon found myself looking at James. he had brought a date, I actually felt like I might be sick it hurt so bad.

I had meant so little to him, I wasn't allowed to drink alcohol because I was under age and wouldn't get served, which looking back was probably a good thing, as my head was all over the place.

I realised soon enough that James' date was in fact Brook Reynolds, Brook was the star of another show on the Disney channel called "melody & rhapsody" she was latino looking and extremely pretty.

James caught my eye and had the cheek to throw a smile my way. That pissed me off even more. I walked over the other side of the room to avoid him, I saw Logan over there though, there was just no escaping the bastard btr boys. I wanted to go but my car wasn't arriving for another two hours yet to pick me up.

Logan came over to me, he was drunk.  
"Kacey... Hey you stopped calling me back? everything okay, I didn't know you were going to be here tonight" he said.

"where did you get the booze from?" I asked him ignoring all his questions.

"we have a friend who is of age that is getting our drinks that look remarkably like lemonade... But with vodka in it too" he smirked.

I realised that he was talking about Sheriden.

"lucky you" I sighed.

"so why are you avoiding me?" Logan asked

"I'm not avoiding you, I just had enough of the silly goings on between you and James" I replied just as kendall stumbled up, I had never seen him drunk before but he looked wasted, it was a good look on him, his hair was wild on his head, like he had just got up out of bed. He looked hot for once.

"logues I'm gonna do it... I'm gonna tell her tonight!" He slushed out of his mouth.

"dude I'm not sure if tonight is the best time... Your not really in a fit state and she is stone cold sober" Logan said giving kendall a pat on the shoulder.

"but I love her, I want her to know... I know... I know she feels the same" Kendall slurred.

Logan looked at me and gave me an apologetic smile.

"buddy listen! Sheriden is one classy girl, I don't think she is going to find a drunk... Soon to be pukey mess, twenty year old, her all time dream man... Dude tonight is not the night... Trust me!" Logan said.

"but I'm mad about her..." kendall continued.

I rolled my eyes then saw James making a bee line for me.

"can I talk to you in private" James said slipping his hand in mine and leading me away out of a fire exit.

I stood there in the cold waiting for him to talk... He didn't.

"well what did you want James" I said my voice laced with venom.

"this" he replied and kissed me. It took me by surprise but I liked it, my broken heart that he had caused me instantly repaired itself.

James kissed me slowly, seductively. It felt immense, making every nerve in my body send shocks to every available inch of me.

He blew my mind. That right there was the moment I knew I was in love with James maslow.

"listen I've got a hotel room booked upstairs, do you wanna join me, we can talk some things through, and have a great night?" He said.

After three weeks of the torture he had put me through, what I should of said was 'go to hell maslow' but what came out was very different.  
"that sounds good James, I would like that a lot" I said and gave his hands an excited squeeze.

James chuckled then walked me back in to the hotel then out of the function room and in to the lift up to his room.

We kissed all the way up there, he seemed really horny tonight, his erection felt rock hard in his trousers as it leant against me as we kissed.

On reaching his hotel room, I felt like my heart was going to spontaneously combust I was so happy.

I felt two things once that door had opened and I walked in to the room, the first was james' hand on my backside as he rubbed it, the second was the feeling of my heart shattering in to a million pieces, as once again James broke it. For on entering that room, I saw what James couldn't find the words for downstairs.

Brook Reynolds was sat in the bed a glass of wine in her unsteady hand, the covers just covering herself up.

"I think you know brook!" James smiled.

"I couldn't take my eyes off of her for a second, I was in shock. My body didn't want to move but eventually I looked at James.

"wh... Why? James why is she here? I don't understand, you said you wanted to talk things through?" I stammered out, my heart now lay lifeless in the pit of my stomach

"yeah I thought we could have some fun together, the whole other guy in the room really wasn't for me but this... Kacey I think you will like this..." He said smiling. "cmon..." He said taking my hand and trying to drag me over to the large bed.

I pulled my hand away and couldn't stop the tsunami of tears that began falling from my face.

"you bastard..." I said then turned on my heels and left the room, James ran after me

"Kacey... Kacey!" He called "I thought you loved all this" he said as he caught up with me as I waited for the elevator.

"no James. It was you I loved. I'm not in to any of that shit... I thought you liked me, we spent all that time together" I cried.

"I'm sorry I thought that this is what you were about" he said softly as he realised he had made a huge mistake.

"me... It was you and fucking Logan! That's what started this! all I wanted was you... I never want to see you again" I sobbed as I got in the lift.

James held the door so it couldn't close.  
"why didn't you just say!" he almost shouted

"let go of the door!" Was all I replied.

"Kacey!?" He said looking at me

I hit his arm pushing it away from the door "let go of the fucking door" I sobbed.

Another guest came up to the lift, James had no choice but to let go, the last I saw of him that night he turned his back and headed back towards his room.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning I woke up clear headed but with an aching hole in my chest.

my phone had been on silent but I looked at it and realised James had finally figured out how to use his phone, I had 2 missed calls and a text saying "we need to talk".

I sighed, I bet he was panicking now that I might tell tales about all this threesome shit that had been going on. It wasn't worth ruining my own career over, I had an audition today, to be one of five members of a girl group called crush.

I had to get my ass in gear and get to the airport, I had to be in Seattle by midday.

I ignored the phone calls, and I erased the text that James had sent, I decided to concentrate on what really was important to me... My career.

Annabellas wish had now finished filming, the Disney channel had so far only offered me a couple of bit parts in the odd Disney channel movie, I guess I was now getting a little old... It was really sad, so this audition today meant the world to me. all I wanted in life was to be a pop star.

I finally reached Seattle, the audition was taking place in a large hall, I got a shock when I walked in and realised how many other girls were here. There must of been about 200 just sitting around, waiting for their time to shine. I was given a number and an estimated waiting time of three hours!... Great.

I sat down, the girl next to me smiled, she had really gone nuts trying to look her best. Her black hair incredibly shiny, and her eyes framed in eyeliner that complimented her big brown eyes.

I made myself comfy and occupied myself with my phone, James had tried calling again. I wondered why he was so insistent now. As if he hadn't caused enough heart ache for me.

"excuse me? Are you Kacey Delta" the black haired girl next to me asked.

I smiled at her "hi... Yeah I am" I replied.

"wow this is so cool, I love Annabellas Wish" she said.

"thanks!... Long wait for the auditions today huh" I replied.

"yeah, my boyfriend said I shouldn't of bothered, he said it was going to be crazy busy today, I've only been here an hour, its going so slow" she said.

"well all we can hope for is its not a waste of time and we get lucky... How long have you been singing for?" I asked her

"pretty much since I could talk" the girl laughed.

"same here" I smiled.

"it means a lot to me, I feel I deserve a break you know, my life hasn't exactly been plain sailing" she explained.

"did you wanna practice with me?" I asked her, looking around there was lots of girls singing away, some on there own, some in groups.

The dark haired girl also looked around the room "okay, sounds good, least I can go home saying I sang with Kacey Delta" she smiled "I'm Paisley by the way... Paisley Prince" the girl said smiling.

Paisley and I sang bridge over troubled water, she was amazing, but she was in awe of me, I hoped that paisley would do well, she was so nice, she did deserve a break.

As hours ticked by Paisley got her number called out for her turn to audition.

After a while she came back out in to the room, she held her head high and sat back down next to me,

"did you get a call back?" I asked,

She burst in to tears "no... They said I had a good voice but I was too young... I'm 17! the notice for the audition said 16 or over so how the fuck can they say I'm too young" she sobbed.

I gave paisley a hug, she was completely gutted. "there will be other chances" I tried soothing in to her.

Paisley stayed sitting with me, we had agreed to share a cab back to the airport, she lived in Reno.

Soon enough it was my own turn to shine, I sang a pussy cat dolls song, I nailed it too. I couldn't of given it more, I was proud of myself.

I was absolutely gutted when I was told that I wasn't going to be called back. Their excuse for me was that I had already found fame, and it was only fair they helped someone 't, I cried my own tears in to paisleys shoulder in the cab ride to the airport to go home.

"thanks for not making this a complete waste of time and money" paisley said to me as we said our good byes.

I laughed "and you, making a new friend is always worth a plane fair to Seattle" I smiled "did you want to swap numbers? If I hear of anything that would need a hot Italian girl to sing for then I can call you" I grinned.

"really? That's so kind, thank you Kacey" she replied as we swapped numbers.

We hugged and went our separate ways after wishing each other luck on our journey to pop stardom.

So that was the day I met Paisley, over the months we became good friends, it was a destiny that we would meet up again, one thing I don't regret is stabbing her in the back a few years down the line, I lost completely everything but because of what I did to her,.paisley finally had her dream come true, but sadly I read her time with big time rush ended with her losing her life aged just 21

I cried when I read about her. She really was so nice. I wish I got to say good bye.

* * *

**_just a little foot note added for this chapter, for those who havent read the other stories in the series, paisley was a main character who eventually got together with paisley but later dies leaving behind a lot of sad people and a baby that she had with kendall._**


	6. Chapter 6

I got home just after 8 in the evening, I had another cry on biscuits shoulder, not just over the failed audition but over what had happened with James.

"kace cmon he is so not worth all these tears" biscuit soothed.

"I know but that's twice now I thought he actually really liked me" i sobbed "I had no idea he was such a pig"

"go and get your pjs on and we will watch titanic ... I will get the wine" she smiled.

"thanks biscuit, your a great friend, I would be lost with out you" I sniffed

"your welcome" she smiled just as the door knocked "I'll get it" she said as she made her way up to the door and opened it up.

"is Kacey here?" I heard james' voice,

Biscuit looked at me with a turn of her head, I waved my arms at her and shook my head madly stating that I did not want to talk to him.

"She isn't home" biscuit then lied to him.

"can I come in and wait?" He asked sounding sarcastic, I think he knew I was here.

"no! She is in Seattle for an audition, she will be home tomorrow but then she will be going home to her parents house, so just call her and make your own arrangements James, I can't help you" biscuit said then tried to shut the door but James put his foot in it.

"James honestly, I won't hesitate to phone the police!" Biscuit threatened.

"look biscuit... Jesus what is your real name. biscuit is ridiculous, I can't call you that!" James hissed at her.

"Marissa, my name is Marissa" biscuit sighed.

"Marissa please, I know she is here, I really need to talk to her, its important"

"she isn't here James, please leave!" Biscuit tried again,

My phone then started ringing, the caller id said it was James calling... Fuck! He had rumbled me.

"Kacey... Kacey please" James then shouted through the door.

"she hates you James, just do her a favour and leave her alone yeah!" Biscuit said to which James removed his foot and left.

I peared out of the curtain, again now in floods of tears, I watched as he got in his car, he saw me and stood and stared for a minute, before turning his engine on then leaving.

After that I tried to keep myself busy, I sent a load of demos to as many record companies as I physically could, I finally did get signed but it was on the same record label as big time rush, I knew it was going to cause me heart ache eventually but I didn't realise just how much, I had managed to avoid them so far but my agent called me with an opportunity she said would be great for me.

The opportunity was in fact to guest star on an episode of big time rush, ironically I was to be a love interest of Carlos, but was madly in love with kendall. It could of been worse I guess, at least I wasn't working with James that closely, I was to do one scene with him where we supposedly both jumped in to the pool, I could handle that. Work I took seriously... James I didn't.

A few weeks later I went in to rehearse my scenes. I Had been to a table script read but James wasn't present, only Carlos and kendall were so this was to be the first day that I would see James since that night I watched him get in his car from my window.

I had it set in my mind that I was just going to be professional, polite and go home... Then I expect cry my eyes out whilst eating a ton of chocolate.

Logan had a little chat with me, he actually asked if I would speak with James but I said I had no desire to speak with him with anything that was not work related, I think Logan could see that I was hurt so he dropped it,

There was so much waiting around, it turned out that kendall was stuck bumper to bumper in traffic waiting for an accident to clear.

The producer of the show handed me my script, I read over the lines. It was funny, I had to declare my love to kendall, while he was trying to fix me up with Carlos as he was afraid jo would see me with him.

The scene for this was set in room 2j, but in the bathroom that I had bungled kendall in to to get him alone.

In the end the producer came back over to me and said kendall was going to be ages to reach rehearsals and that I would have to do mine with a stand in.

I just shrugged until I realised James had opted to do kendalls part for him. I could of cried.

As the scene started off with Logan and Carlos leaving room 2j, I then had to take kendall by the hand and drag him in to the bathroom. I hated kendall Schmidt today for getting stuck in traffic and forcing me to do this with James.

As Logan and Carlos left, I grabbed James hand and bundled him in to the bathroom of apartment 2j.

I read my lines out, "Carlos is weird... He wears a helmet!" I said to kendall/James.

"he is perfect for you... Your weird!" James spoke out kendalls lines. As he had to then pick up my hat shaped hand bag

"but I love you" I then had to say from my script. It took all my might to not cry as I looked in to James' eyes.

"I love you too" James replied.  
"CUT!" The producer called out.

"James, kendalls line was 'but I love jo' ... Let's start from the top" the producer said.

"Carlos is weird, he wears a helmet" I repeated my lines.

"he is perfect for you... Your weird" James repeated, again lifting up the huge hat shaped hand bag.

"but I love you" I said,

"I love you too kace" James replied again a very loud "CUT" came from the producers mouth.

I looked at James and he took my hand.

A tear did finally escape from my face.

"can we take 5 Scott?" James asked to which the producer looked at me and nodded his head.

"Kacey cmon... Come with me" James said then guided me by my hand out of the studio.

He took me in to his dressing room.

"why didn't you call me back kace" he said as I sat down on a sofa in his room.

I just sobbed, "why do you keep messing with me James"

"I'm not messing with you, I misunderstood you Kacey, I got you wrong okay, I admit that... I'm sorry" he whispered.

I just cried with my head in my hands

"that's why i didn't call you back after paint ball?" he said

I looked up at James "what do you mean... I tried calling you, and I text" I said.

"I know... I know, I got it wrong, I thought you were just after a good time so I tried to let go of you, after paintball I started thinking that I really liked you but I didn't want to keep fucking about with you and Logan, that was fucked up" he explained.

"You liked me? Why the fuck did you turn your phone off then James?"

"because it kept ringing and ringing, I was with Sheriden that night, she was crying her eyes out over her old boyfriend and her back was hurting, I was trying to be a good friend" he explained.

"I didn't want Logan at all" I said quietly.

"did you mean what you said... That night I took you to brook?" He asked.

"I did yeah... James you've broken my heart, I can't go on like this, I need to go" I said standing up and heading for the door.

"I meant what I said just then... In the bathroom" he whispered.

I turned around "I don't believe you" I whispered back.

James then walked up and kissed me, once again he had instantly healed my broken heart, the hole closed up and I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"I love you... I do" he said pulling away.

"I love you too" I replied then enjoyed another of his amazing kisses.

So that was the point that James and I finally got together. We would spend so much time together, I was so happy, so incredibly happy. The love I carried for him was overwhelming.

Our happiness continued for 5 short months, he would shower me with affection, he piled his love on thick, I'm not sure what happened to him at this point, but he started to become withdrawn, we started arguing, I couldn't do anything right, even though I knew I had done nothing wrong, I soon realised that James carried a torch for Sheriden, we hung out with her a lot, as far as I was aware it was kendall that still liked her, but it was the day of kendalls 21st birthday that James came round to see me to say things weren't working out.

I remember sitting there stunned, I couldn't speak.

my music career soon suffered because of my mental state, I launched an attack on James during a drunken night in, it seemed like a good idea at the time, but I pretty much ended my career as I wrote out dozens of foul mouthed tweets aimed at James.

The worst part was Sheriden was now dating kendall, so if James had dumped me to be with her it was all for nothing so it seemed.

If my tweets that i had attacked James with weren't bad enough, I decided to yell abuse at him at an awards ceremony, Tammi, Carlos' girlfriend was shoving me about and I ended up smacking James around the face.  
The very next day I had a phone call saying that I was being dropped from my record label because of my actions. I was so depressed I didn't even care.

I eventually got my act together and ended up in a girl group with paisley and another friend she had introduced me to, amberleigh Scott, ironically it was Sheriden that signed us on her and james' record label that they had created with kendall, Sheriden was now with James.

In a last ditch attempt I did try to succeed in that band but again hate and jealousy ate me up from inside and I went to the papers and told them a load of bull shit about Sheriden, she tried to kill herself because of it, but she ended up taking me to court for slander, my family lost so much because of that, and paisley got caught up in it, it worked out good for her for a while though, she had a baby with kendall, and had some great music in a solo career but a year later she died.

James and Sheriden got married, the day after that happened I saw all the pictures of them in the news paper and on line. I then tried to take my own life. It was after that I met my fiancé, he was infact my phsychologist, so we are a well suited couple, he knows my deepest fears and problems and still loves me regardless.

So that brings me to the end of my diary. It all seems a bit pointless to think back and realise I ruined my life, my career and hurt so many people all because James broke my heart. But the hole in my chest is still very much there.

"Kacey!" My fiancé called me a week after I had finished writing my depressing story out.

"yeah?" I replied as I walked out of my kitchen.

"you have a visitor babe" he replied

As I walked in to the hallway I got the shock of my life to see James and the eldest of his three children in his arms.

"hi Kacey" he said looking kind, like what he used to look like.

"what are you doing here?" I asked looking to James then Karl my fiancé

"Karl sent me a copy of your... Diary" James said.

I felt my eyes fill up with emotion

"James come on in" Karl said.

Karl invited James in to our living room, I sat down, my legs felt like jelly.

"I will leave you to it" Karl said as he left the room.

"you look great kace'" James said smiling as he sat down and rested his daughter on his knee.

I was 24 lbs heavier than the last time he had seen me so I doubt very much that he really thought I looked great.

"why are you here?" I whispered.

"Karl sent me a copy of what you wrote, a lot of it I forgot, it was fun to read for a while, but I just wanted to come and say I'm sorry. I'm sorry it didn't work out, I'm sorry we took you to court, I'm sorry for everything. I'm the reason you are filled with pain, I'm the reason you tried to kill your self kace... I did love you, I promise I did, but Sheriden, she is my soul mate, there was nothing I could do to stop how I felt" he explained in a soft voice.

"thank you" I whispered.

"I would like to draw a line and start afresh with you if you want that... Its easier to get along than hate each other" he said.

"who is this?" I asked looking at the baby.

"this is Georgi, we adopted her" he said giving Georgi a kiss on the head.

"does Sheriden know you are here?" I asked.

"yeah she does... She actually sends her best wishes... Kacey I honestly had no idea how strongly you felt for me. When we broke up, I ... I really tried to do it gently, I didn't blame any one, it certainly wasn't your fault, you were amazing and the time we spent together was amazing " he said jogging his daughter on his knee.

"I'm sorry... For going to the papers, I had no idea Sheriden was going to react like she did" I replied.

"I know, just like I didn't know you were going to react so bad to us breaking up, we can't control our feelings kace, we can't change the past... Logan says hi" he chuckled

I felt my cheeks redden. But I smiled "they were crazy days huh" I said.

"very crazy" he smiled.

"its sad about paisley huh" I said

"yeah, it was hard, her daughter looks just like her though, so that's nice" he said.

"James how do I make everything better?" I asked feeling tears fall from me.

"easy, like this" he said as he moved to my sofa and gave me a squeeze with his arm as he threw it over my shoulder.

"do you still feel like you want to hit me in the face?" He chuckled.

I laughed "no, I'm glad you finally understand what I felt And went through though... It makes the difference. It really does"

"Kacey I will always remember the time we were together. It was a crazy time of our lives. the start of so many things happening."

"so will I... I'm getting married in a month" I said sounding up beat.

"yeah Karl said, he is a nice guy Kacey." James said.

"he really is" I smiled.

"well I best be getting this one to bed" James said looking at Georgi.

"thanks James... For coming over, it means a lot... I feel like closure has finally come my way" I said taking my first proper breath of what felt like fresh air.

"its fine, believe or not I do think about you a lot... Kace here is my number, if you wanna chat, sort your head out again... if that hate starts creeping back in then give me a call, I promise I will reply okay" he said as he slung his arm around me again giving me a hug goodbye.

"I may do that... Thankyou" I said.

"take care Kacey... Good luck on your wedding day" he said as he opened the front door.

"Thankyou" I said as I waved at his daughter who was frantically waving goodbye to me.

James chuckled at her.  
"bye kace" he said

I smiled and shut the door.

Karl came out from the kitchen  
"am I in trouble for doing that?" He asked.

I shook my head then walked in to his arms .  
"no I needed that... Thank you baby... I love you so much. My life can start again now" I said as he held me in his strong arms.

* * *

**_just to let you all know, originally i did write this as the last story to finish the series off completly with no loose ends, but there will be another story, with, sheriden, mackenzie, savannah, fran and all the boys coming in the next few days, its going to be the most exciting and dramatic i have written. i love all the characters that i have created but sheriden is by far my favorite, so she is going to be around for a while yet!_**

**_thanks for reading follow me on twitter sheridenlloyd for updates or to chat btr_**

thanks for reading


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